Ability to self-soothe
“An infant is not neurologically or developmentally capable of calming or soothing himself to sleep in ways that are healthy. The part of the brain that allows him to begin the process of learning to regulate his own emotions...isn’t well developed until he is two and a half to three years of age.” Parents are "the emotional regulators” for babies and young children. (Emphases in boldface have been added.)
- from "Attached at the Heart" by B. Nicholson and L. Parker
Sleeping through the night
“There has never been a scientific study anywhere that has shown any benefit for babies whatsoever in sleeping through the
night at young ages, or even sleeping through the night at any particular time. What is important is the nature of social
relationships and support within which babies develop all kinds of skills pertaining to independence.”
- Cosleeping researcher Dr. James McKenna, quoted in "Attached at the Heart" by B. Nicholson and L. Parker
Risks of solitary sleep
“Three or four studies show quite conclusively that putting babies to sleep in a room by themselves at three to six months of
age doubles their chances of dying from SIDS.”
- Cosleeping researcher Dr. James McKenna, quoted in "Attached at the Heart" by B. Nicholson and L. Parker
Spanking, hitting, slapping, etc.
A meta-analysis of many studies found a correlation between parental corporal punishment and increased child aggression, delinquency and antisocial behavior, increased adult aggression, criminality and antisocial behavior, increased risk of abusing own child or spouse, among other undesirable behaviors and conditions.
- from "Attached at the Heart" by B. Nicholson and L. Parker
Damage caused by "crying it out"
Brain-imaging studies have shown that prolonged, uncomforted crying causes toxic stress chemicals to wash over the brain, opioids to be withdrawn and pain circuits in the brain to be activated. Over time, babies’ anti-anxiety systems can become altered, which increases their risk for depression and anxiety disorders. Babies’ brains can become wired for bodily hyperarousal, which can result in high blood pressure, poor sleep, panic attacks, chronic fatigue, headaches, eating and digestive disorders and/or other problems.
- from "The Science of Parenting" by psychotherapist M. Sunderland
Professionals Speak
© McCarthy 2011
Parenting for a Caring World
"Secure Babies, Strong Children, Successful Adults"
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Conscious, Attuned, Responsive and Empathetic
Addictions - often an attempt to finally feel nurtured
"Opiates made me feel safe and warm, cared for [and] soothed."
- Marc Lewis, PhD. Drug addict for 10 years (LSD, heroin, meth, crack, etc.) Later became a
neuroscientist.
(Note from PCW: In his book, "Memoirs of an Addicted Brain," Lewis describes his distant
relationship with his parents as a teen and as an adult. They were not warm or loving
people, so presumably their relationships with him in infancy and childhood were no
better.)
Importance of social capital/social connectedness
"Public health researchers….have established beyond reasonable doubt that social connectedness is one of the most powerful determinants of our well-being.”
- Robert D. Putnam, author of "Bowling Alone," Harvard professor
